Only on TV? Not This Time!

Martin shares:

It was February 2009 and I received a message on Facebook. Some guy, who called me by name and was very polite, asked me if I was ever in New Jersey and if I had any connections to the city of Elizabeth. I replied that yes, I was originally from New Jersey and I used to live in Elizabeth. He then asked me some questions and I told him some things that a perfect stranger would not know.

We chatted via message. He called his wife at her work and sent her the link of the Facebook page with my picture and he asked her to look at it. She had said she was very busy and would look later. He asked again for her to please look at it. She did. He later told me that she said, "oh my, you just found your father" and they were both stunned.

After I was certain it was him, I told him that this was a conversation that was 36 years in the making. After all of that time, my son found me.

I also have a daughter and another son, and when they were around 12 or so, I had told them that I had another son, but I did not know where he was. (It is a long and complicated story that no longer matters). I never hid the fact that I had a son out there.

I found out that he was married and had 3 children. My daughter has a son, so all of a sudden, I had 4 grandchildren, and my daughter and younger son had an older brother, and I had a daughter-in-law.

For me, Thanksgiving of 2009 arrived in February.

I acknowledged to Thomas that I was his father. Now, he is called Tom. I adapted. He was 18 months when I last saw him. My little Thomas was now Tom. Husband and father to his own children. He was raised by his grandfather, my former father-in-law. (You done good, Pop - Rest in Peace). My ex was not around and I was in the Army and try as I might, I had lost custody due to my military status. When Pop moved, no one told me where they were. Until February 2009.

In May of 2009, my daughter and I flew to New Jersey. (Yes, on purpose) and Tom and his family picked us up. We met at the arrival terminal and we hugged for what seemed like an eternity, although the separation was eternal. Until now. Crying all around. The people watching this did not know what to make of it, but we were all oblivious to our surroundings. I had my son, he had his father, and he met his sister. I met my 3 other grandchildren (who immediately called me Grandpa), I met my daughter-in-law and it was how it should have always been. Fate stopped it for 36 years but allowed me this now.

Tom is the operations director of a school bus company, so naturally, he picked us up in a school bus. What a sense of humor. Not sure where he got that from. :)

When we arrived, there was a family reunion. About 20 of us, including my uncle, a retired pediatrician and my aunt, a retired high school teacher. My uncle was so happy. His family was together again. He told me when he left to go home that this was one of the happiest moments of his life. To see his family come together again. (It was like that for all of us Uncle Bobby)

I went back for Thanksgiving (this time, the November one) and spent a few days in New Jersey.

Not many people know how this feels. Some do. But for those who don't, it is not something I can describe.

Yes, this happens only on TV, right? Not this time.

My son told me that for all of these years, he felt my presence. I thought of him every day. I still do.

My son found his sister. He found his brother. He found the grandfather of his children. He found his wife's father-in-law.

My son found me.


Martin